It's been some time since I wrote the last post on this blog. I was trying to post something at least once a week, but stuff happens and my life is a mess. But right now, I really want to write about a movie that has a very special place in my heart: American Psycho.

Why is that movie so important, you may ask? Well, because he is literally me, for real. Literally like you. Literally like all of us. Patrick Bateman is the best metaphor that we could ever have for the male mind in cinema. He literally has the perfect ideal life that most men want to achieve, in a surreal and unrealistic power trip.

In a very funny and irreverent way, Patrick Bateman makes me feel embraced by the madness of the world that we live in, with all of the stigmas and goals that come with it. There's something special about those Sigma edits, with phonk songs and clips from the movie, featuring stupid quotes or motivational shit. I just can't get enough of these kind of videos.

Let's start from the beginning of the movie:

"There's an Idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there."

There is an Idea of what I should be, as a man, in this world. Not an Idea that society told me to be, but the Idea that I aspire to be. The menacing, cold, millionaire, intelligent, stoic psychopathic specimen of humanity. The angel in between demons. The narcissistic dream. Some kind of abstract thought, that burns inside my instincts and deepest thoughts. But that's not who I am right now. That's not the real me. Maybe I'm funny, emotional, dumb, and broke. And that really pisses me off. That's why I created a persona: To hide my insecurities. Now I am become Sigma: The destroyer of the Betas. Only an entity. And now, my mind has been so shattered and layered like an onion cut in small pieces to feed some douchebag in a fancy restaurant, that not even I can answer the simplest question: who am I? You can talk with me, you can try to understand what is happening, but I have lost myself in the thought of being the superior human being in the world. Even though I'm just an idiot daydreaming and losing myself in my power trip.

That's why Patrick Bateman, along with other characters (usually played by Ryan Gosling, or from the Peaky Blinders series,) are so appealing to the young men in Gen Z and even Gen Alpha. And why is that?

I think is because we don't have role models anymore.

Most of us don't look up to our parents like we should. And it's not their fault, nor ours, is just that we don't want to live the same life that our parents lived. We want to innovate, we want to dominate, we want to conquer. That applies to everybody, be it a man or a woman. Or a they/them. Maybe even a Two Spirit Neutrois Penguin (Piers Morgan, you see me? I'm being inclusive.)

And when we want to change our lives drastically, what do we do? We look up to the most extreme person that we can find, to guide our choices and personal opinions, based on how cool we think they are. And is there something cooler than a millionaire man who is in shape and is unstoppable? I don't think so.

With the lack of a father, young boys fall prey to the American Psycho real message. It is funny because most guys can't understand the social critique that the movie carries, making fun of the character that is so beloved. The movie tries to explain how the male psyche works, but the joke goes right above their heads. The cogs in our brains are enigmatic and confusing, but I can assure you that every human in this world can relate to something from American Psycho.

And then, there is the Business Card Scene. Ohh that shit is so funny. All of them have the same job, the same style, and also flex on their business cards, which have almost no difference when compared to each other. All of them are copies. All of them try to live the ideal life, try to sustain that pathetic persona, thinking that with that they'll be different, but in reality, they all end up being the same person. Everyone can be the American Psycho. Everyone. I can be the Brazillian Maniac. You can be the Wordly Madlad. Do you like the name?

Maybe I'll write another blog later about this movie. But for now, this is what I have.

My girlfriend is at the club without me. I'm at home, writing and taking care of my little sister. She is sleeping listening to the sound of the rain. Life is weird but kind of cool. And even though I try to make myself feel stuff, I simply can't.